Nobody, No Friends, No Feelings
by SapphireElric
Summary: Axel is sitting in his room at Castle Oblivion, these are his thoughts.


**_Author's Note: Okay, this oneshot just came into my head yesterday as I finished playing KH2. This is about the relationship that I think Roxas and Axel had, no yaoi in here. These are what I think Axel's thoughts were at the beginning of KH2, and explains a lot of his actions. If you disagree with me, fine, you're allowed to have your opinion, just don't flame me because you think this is an awful story, 'kay? If you want to make points about things I've done bad and could improve on, please leave constructive criticism. If you've got nothing good to say, don't say it at all._**

**_DiZ-claimer: Sadly, I do not own the copyrights of Kingdom Hearts 2 or the characters. How I wish I owned Axel and Roxas and Cloud... sigh_**

DiZ wiped his memories of the whole Organization... He doesn't remember me, his best friend. How could he not remember me??? After all, I do pride myself on my scarlet, gravity defying hair. He was the only one who made me feel like... I was important to someone, like I had a heart. The Key of Destiny... that's the nickname they gave him. The keyblade's chosen wielder. We were never anything more than friends, I loved him like a brother, still do. It's painful to see him in that virtual Twilight Town, with a new best friend, but I'm not jealous. Nobodies cannot feel emotion; we know what we would feel if we could, but it makes things worse when we cannot feel a single emotion. I'm a Nobody, therefore, I should have no friends; then Roxas came and changed that, he's a Nobody too, and he became my friend, against the laws of the Organization, against what Xemnas had told us. I want to take him away from there; maybe he'll remember me then. It can be like old times, like when he first came, we could have fun again. We used to have so much fun, we never got orders from Xemnas; we acted of our own accord. Things were great then; it was just him and me. Nothing could tear us down, until he decided to leave the Organization. I remember that day so clearly...

_Roxas was walking along, he walked straight past where I was standing. I thought he was going to leave without saying anything. So I decided to speak up._

"_Your mind's made up?" I asked, monotonously, sadly._

"_Why did the keyblade choose me? I have to know." He replied calmly, stopping in his tracks, but not turning to look at me. This angered me._

"_You can't turn on the Organization!" I half shouted, trying to get him to realise if he left, one of us, most likely me, would be sent to kill him. "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you" I continued, trying to make him see sense_

"_No one would miss me" he replied, that same calmness in his voice. I didn't understand, how could he say something like that? He walked away from me before I could say anything else. I tried calling after him._

"_That's not true..." By this time, Roxas had gone, so I finished my sentence more quietly, sadly, hanging my head in defeat "I would..." The rain started to come down heavily, and I wondered if Demyx was purposely making me feel worse than I already was._

Okay, so I said Nobodies don't have emotions, well, I'm allowed to speculate on how I would feel, aren't I? I can remember what it was like when I had a heart, which is probably why I didn't get along with many people in the Organization, that, and the fact that none of them seemed to understand me. I was shunned for my pyromania, until I met Roxas. He understood me, took the time to get to know me, and he didn't really understand what the Organization were about, so he was all for trying to bring them down from within, which is what I had been trying to do for far too long. We laughed, we joked, we fought, but the thing with our fights was, neither of us ever went all out against the other. Truth is, if Roxas went all out against me now, while he has no recollection of me, he'd most likely go all out and beat me because I'd still be holding back against him.

DiZ wants to merge Roxas with Sora, to bring down the Organization. I don't want that to happen, because then I'd loose my best friend for good. I guess if it does happen, I'll have to help Sora as much as possible, try and leave clues for him, or I could get that Riku fellow to help out with leaving the clues, he seems to be pretty close to Sora, and it seems like Sora would trust Riku more. I'll do what I can to help, if Roxas merges with Sora then that means Sora is my best friend. He'll probably hate me though, because I'll be his enemy. But I'll do whatever it takes to help him, even give up my life if I have to. If Roxas or Sora get cornered by hundreds of Dusks, I'll do my kamikaze attack, it should work, if it doesn't get rid of them all, it will at least deplete their numbers, and there's a greater chance that Sora or Roxas will survive. I just wish Roxas will remember me before he merges with Sora... just so I can talk to him for a little while, feel like I had a heart again... To feel like I'm worth something... That my life mattered... That people would care if I faded into darkness. I have no afterlife to go to when I die, only people with hearts have that possibility... I'll fade into darkness... Unloved, unmourned and alone.

**_Author's Note: So, sad enough for you? Please let me know what you think (in as polite a way as possible, please)_**


End file.
